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Their comfort eating and drinking is often a symptom of their unhappiness – but a fear of being alone stops them from tackling the real problem. My children are becoming more independent and this is my golden time. I don’t have to go to boring business dinners as a plus-one, or schlep up the motorway to visit someone else’s parents.
Many fiftysomething women’s desire for a different kind of life is also hindered by the need to look after ageing parents and/or demanding children. I don’t have to cook “his” dinner or do “his” washing. I can go on holiday when and where I want, I can eat the food I fancy and spend my money exactly as I please.
Those who remain married into their fifth decade can sometimes wear their marriage like a status symbol. Thrice-married actress Kim Cattrall, who celebrated her 60th birthday this year, says of her single status: “You know so much more about what you want and what you don’t want and what you’ll put up with.
I feel in that area, romantically, retired.”I did register with a well-known online dating site a while back. The only “matches” that came back were men 10 to 15 years older than me.
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It makes us sound like we spend our evenings forlornly signalling to each other across a creaky old dance floor by waving our Zimmer frames, while our hearing aids whistle shrilly. I know fiftysomething women who are running marathons, starting businesses …
So, the question I asked myself before going ahead was not “do I fancy him?
”, but “do I fancy spending the next decade counting out his blood pressure tablets in the morning?
I now shudder when I hear a woman say, “I’ll have to ask my husband.” I finally understand my Great Aunt Florence, who never married and lived alone in a cottage by the sea, happily collecting cat ornaments.
Her life was completely uncompromised and I can entirely relate to her contentment. As a nutritionist and hypnotherapist, I see many fiftysomething women.